The Tinder Swindler - 3 Tips for Businesses
I have always had a fascination with "Hustlers", "Con Artists" and "Swindlers". Not because I necessarily like them as individuals, but I do respect their skills. Whilst they aren't flawless, and often they get caught, they are expert practitioners in what they do. However, we need to remember these are bad people who ruin lives and we often only learn about the elite swindlers when they are caught and their stories dramatised in films and documentaries.
The new Netflix documentary “The Tinder Swindler” tells the story of a notorious con artist who allegedly used the Tinder dating app to live a life of luxury while defrauding women across Europe out of an estimated seven million pounds. This new documentary has given me the opportunity to explore what we can learn from con artists.
This blog is not about teaching you illegal skills, but the attributes needed to operate at the highest level of business.
Here are 3 tips that I have put together, to apply to yourself and your businesses to help you succeed:
- Alter Ego
- Listening is Key
Con artists push this idea to its extreme, but putting on a metaphorical mask is an effective strategy for any entrepreneur suffering from a lack of self-confidence.
Can you develop a persona that allows you to stand confident and share a vision authentically? It's not about creating an artificial identity; it's about reawakening the core attributes and skills you may have within you. When you present your ideas, can you envision a character of who you want to be? This is something that con artists do all the time. They’re known as “confidence men” for a reason. They exude confidence, gain your confidence and then influence others.
Pay attention to what your teams are saying, provide proof that you are listening, don’t interrupt, repeat what they said in your own words. This is the same set of methods that FBI hostage negotiators use to build rapport. The former head of international hostage negotiation for the FBI, Chris Voss, recommends just that: “The idea is to really listen to what the other side is saying and feed it back to them. Listening is a major part of being a social engineer.”
- The Tinder Swindle Special (The Hook)
Tangible products and real-world activities reinforce a target's confidence in an idea, way more than an aspirational speech or fancy PowerPoint presentation. That's why con artists use falsified documents and pricey items to entice their victims. Bring in the Tinder Swindler himself Shimon Hayut.
Hayut had a routine, he would select a woman on Tinder, take her on a luxurious first date, and gradually cultivate their relationship while jetting across the world and stealthily dating other women. Hayut would confide in them that he was concerned that a shadowy gang of his "enemies" were out to get him. To fuel the fear, he would send a picture of his bloodied bodyguard. Once that foundation was established, he would immediately message each "girlfriend" to inform her that his credit card could not be used citing security concerns and that she should open a new one in her name for him to use.
Entrepreneurs can take a cue from this and remember that "a prototype is worth a thousand words." An experience is significantly more valuable than a sales pitch. What legitimate experiences can you provide to your customers?
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These 3 tips are at the heart of every successful entrepreneur, from CEOs of fortune 500 companies to the latest Instagram influencer. Next time you are about to enter a business negotiation ask would you swipe right on yourself?
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By Louis Gray, Head of department of management and leadership, University of Wolverhampton Business School